| Location | Leeds |
| Age | 56 years |
| Cause of Death | Cancer |
| Date of Birth | 26/03/1953 |
| Date of Death | 18/09/2009 |
| Visitors | 671 since 04/11/2009 |
| Creator |
My mum was the best person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. She was so warm, funny and inventive. We used to say she was wired wrong, because she approached every situation in her own unique way. She was so special and made me so proud to call her my mum.
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-♩♪♫♬ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ♩♪♫♬
♫♬HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ♫♬
♫♬HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR LYDIA ♫♬
♫♬ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU♫♬
-♩♪♫♬ ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ♩♪♫♬
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…………..…............... ..I.....LOVE FROM JUDE. X X
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viki ross
Mum. I don't know what to do. Rachel has cancelled on me, 16 hours before we go to Edinburgh. I am furious and devastated. I feel completely suicidal and I just don't know what to do. I feel so alone mum, noone cares anymore. I was so so looking forward to this trip, I was going to see Linda and go out and have fun, scatter your ashes on Arthurs Seat on your birthday, and now I can't because I'm in no fit state to go on my own. Everything has been getting on top of me for weeks and I have barely coped, and this week has just been the one from hell. I need you to help me because I can't take anymore. Between mothers day, your birthday and the 6 month of you leaving, I just don't know what to do without you anymore. I miss you and love you so much. xxxxxx
Hey Ma,
It's been 4 months and 3 days. It seems like forever but no time at all.
It's gone one in the morning, I was just about to go to bed, try get some rest. I've spent the night looking at the things people say about loss and grief and mothers, i'd try hide the fact that it's for another tattoo but I reckon you can read my mind anyway so there's no point. I've had a really big, really cathartic cry tonight. Reading about other peoples loss, my heart just breaks. I miss you, you know I do, but I think the earth shattering grief is hiding for a while, letting me sort all the practicalities out first. I've got a new housemate moving in, Lauren. You'd really like her. She's got a bloody kitten, but what's one more in this house ey?
I'm sorry I lost my ring. I will find it.
If you've any pull, wherever you are, could you do something good for Leila? I'll be okay, but I worry about her. She's been the sole person I can always call, you know there's stuff going on just now and I'll need to rely on her more, and she hasn't flinched, not once. Everyone else has vanished, but she's been the best and I really want something good to happen for her, please.
So anyway, tonight. I was just about to go to bed, I'd calmed myself down, and I've read and re-read the George Michael lyrics, A different corner. The one you could never remember the name of but always loved. I remember hearing the first few seconds of it as we walked into your funeral. Everything in my mind was blank and white but I didn't think my legs would carry me to the seats, I thought I was too weak and I'd collapse. And then I remember thinking, stupid girl, stupid stupid girl, why pick a song that says "I'm so scared" ? And thinking, I bet you're scared now and I don't want you to be. And I reached my seat then. And I was so scared that I wouldn't make it through the service. I kept expecting to emit a horrendous wail, because it was sitting right there in my lungs. But I didn't. And then I managed to say my little piece, and even now I'm so happy and so comforted that I managed to speak for you, to you and about you. I'm so proud of myself for being strong enough, and I'm so proud that you gave me that strength. I'm so proud of you.
So I'm listening to the song now, and I'm going to go to bed after this. It keeps saying- you were the only one to stop my tears. It's true and I wish you were here to do it now.
I hope you're happy and safe. Jake and the girls miss you, I gave them one of your milkshakes this week. Sorry for the other new tattoo, gotta keep you with me! Love you mummy xxxxx
Early Morning Walks
I miss our dogs walks. I miss our coffee at Cafe Lento. I miss the way you always asked for SPUN (spoon). Most of all, I miss our friendship. One of the most honest people I ever knew x
A missing candle
Lydia, I miss your spice, your passion and your drive. The World was a way more interesting place with you down here to share the occasional drink and idea with. I couldn't think of a better way for you to go than with a big bang and burst of sparkly light to entertain us all. Love, Nick.
Hi Mummy. I just wanted to set up one of these so I can send you a little message when I'm struggling. I'm struggling mum, I need you to make my nightmares stop. I need you to remember how much I love you, and I miss you, and I'm so proud of you for all you went through with such humour and dignity and strength. Turns out you weren't kicking and screaming after all hey! I wish that your friends hadn't forgotten me already, that they bloody called once in a while instead of a fortnightly text, but people are the pits as you used to say. Thank you, for everything you did for me. I never doubt that you love me, or that you're proud of me, and I'm so grateful that you embedded that knowledge in me. Thank you for setting up meeting Candi - I hope you like the new tattoo! (I know you wont, sorrysorry..) I felt so hot when I started writing this, I take anything and everything as a sign from you so I guess that was a cuddle. I miss your cuddles so so much. I still can't believe that you're not with me. I catch myself sometimes thinking I can't wait to see you again. It's not that I want to die now, I just have so much to tell you when I see you in 20, 40 or 60 years, I know you'll understand what I mean. I'm sure I'll be leaving you lots of little messages on here so check once in a while. Jakey and grannys wee girls miss you so much.
I miss you mum. I love you past the moon. Vic xxxxxxxx
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